Learn to listen
Men can only benefit if they work a little harder and understand the woman’s need to talk about feelings and problems.
When a woman talks about something, she usually does not seek advice, solution, or response. She then reconsiders her feelings, and if she notices that the partner is not ready to listen to her, she will feel rejected. Through conversation with her partner, she wants to gain intimacy and understanding, as she does with her friends. A true influence on a woman can be achieved by a man if he is ready to listen to her, does not interrupt her while speaking and does not share advice.
Talking about everyday problems, problems that may never arise, and unsolvable problems helps a woman feel better. When she realizes that her husband is ready to listen to her and that she has become the object of his attention, it will help her feel valued. Although the problems do not go away in this way, the tension is reduced and this will make the woman calmer.
A woman often analyzes the problems of her family and friends. In this way she expresses her care and compassion. This “thinking aloud”, talking about everything her thoughts deal with, emotions translated into words are very important for women’s intuition.
For a woman, talking about people and human relationships is quite natural, because they show interest in their lives.
Gaining the trust of a loved one is very important to them, and they achieve this by sharing their interests and views with that person. If a man shows apathy or disinterest in her topics, he shows that he does not know her personality enough. In this way, he loses contact with an important and vital part of her being, and this contact is at the root of a deep relationship.
However, when a woman wants to share her problems, the man makes the mistake of assuming that she needs advice. He has a hard time understanding why she is becoming more upset, and, aware of this, is increasingly trying to find a solution to the problem. In most cases, the woman does not want advice, it is important for her husband to listen and care for her.
A woman wants to be sure that she can talk freely and without fear to her husband about everyday problems – worries, moods, daily events, jobs, everything she said, successes and failures, children and upbringing, or care for the health of parents. What confuses a man is the details a woman uses in conversation and he often tries to find a connection between these details and the problem. All the while the woman is talking, the husband tries to find a solution to the problem. Unfortunately, he does not understand the essence. A woman simply wants to share all her “secrets” with someone she loves and trusts, as well as to feel that same confidence on the other hand and his willingness to listen to her. If the husband rejects the role of the listener, she will be disturbed, and the result is, most often, unnecessary discussion of completely irrelevant things.
If a man understands his role, pays enough attention to the woman and listens to her, both will experience a sense of closeness and intimacy that will exceed both her and his expectations. The benefit is mutual. He will no longer be just her lover, but her best friends and companion.