Marriage – yes or no?
Wrong – A poor understanding of marriage also brings bad results. Whenever our expectations differ from our everyday experiences, we find ourselves under emotional pressure. This will happen, for example, if we believe that our marriage serves only to bring us happiness and love, instead of realizing that it teaches us to love one another and helps us face ourselves. Marriage in itself will not help us to be better, but it can help us to develop.
According to Greek mythology, man initially had four arms, four legs and one head with two faces. The Greeks believed that the supreme god Zeus halved these beings in two, in fear of compromising the authority of the gods. He condemned them through life to always seek their other half from which they were separated – their lost “soulmate”. Surprisingly, today many people are building their hope of marital happiness on this premise.
Marriage – yes or no? Why?
Throughout human history, marriage and family have been the center of human life. And although the number of marital communities in our society has decreased, the number of those who hope for marriage remains the same. The desire for marriage is deeply rooted in us.
But despite this, many young people do not want marriage, at least until they find someone with whom they are reportedly very compatible. By that they usually mean someone who is sexually attracted to them and who will not bother to change them, even when change may be needed, someone who will fit into their lives and love them as they are. Boys and girls have similar understandings. It could be said that girls sometimes have special, often exaggerated demands. The husband is expected to have emotional and sexual satisfaction, but they want to remain “independent”. It seems that in the history of society there have never been so many ideas about the ideal spouse – husband / wife.
While they were having fun, Susan liked Misha’s determination to finish every thing. Today, when they are married, he is freaked out by his workaholism and is almost never home. Thomas admired Ana’s ability to make contact and friendship with almost everyone. Now he is frustrated in marriage because she pays more attention to her friends than to him. While partying, Andrea admired Mark’s incredible sense of humor. Now, as a wife, he is annoyed by his frivolity and almost never closes his mouth.
Compatibility as an epidemic
The “compatibility” between two people modeled on various films, magazines and book characters seems like an epidemic. The only question is how to find a person of the opposite sex and be happy with it. We often hear, “I want to get a divorce. It seems to me that I was wrong, she’s not right. “Or” I’m getting married this summer because I love him. If things change, I will divorce without hesitation. ”Over the last few decades, divorces have doubled and slowly but surely have become the norm.
People believe that marriage is responsible for all their frustrations and problems and that they will be resolved when they are free and independent. This is why they choose something between marriage and the opportunity for sex – they have a sexual partner and, very often, they live together. It is a widely accepted view that living together before marriage is a great way to check and choose your spouse. If you are compatible, the “chemistry” between you will be strong enough. Really?
Liberal understandings and the pornographic industry have led men to think that a wedding with their partner should be postponed, because when that time they can find the right ones – a combination of soulmate and true beauty. Women, as a result of their rather open-minded attitude, are very frustrated and live with a secretive, internal, suspicion that they will never find the ideal man. More and more of them are also postponing the wedding because the opposite sex is not “good enough”. Life continues at the same pace and more and more first-born children are born out of wedlock.
Marriage was once a public institution for the common good, and now it is a private agreement that serves solely the needs of individuals. Former views on marriage are considered outdated and new, modern understandings are “liberating”. Really? Unfortunately, in all this we remain trapped between unrealistic desires and the panic of marriage.
Marriage, in fact, shows a man’s true face. It is the most vulnerable relationship that exists. In it, we are completely revealed to the other person as we really are. In marriage, all our differences differ. We can clearly see the flaws of the other side, while we are often not ready to acknowledge our own and are not comfortable when someone else reminds us of them.
That is why we prefer to dream of ideal, romantic perfection. This way of thinking is counterproductive, and its result is frustration, disappointment and resignation. Many do not want to compromise and fight for better and rather run away from marriage because their expectations are not met. Maybe they got married to escape from themselves, maybe they wanted to be different than they were and just try to hide under the mask. They expected marriage to be nice to them, and by no means marriage would reveal their weaknesses. Is there an excl