RELATIONSHIP

A Letter To The Girl Who Gives Too Much In A Relationship

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Dear girl who’s reading this,

Stop. Stop right now or the next time you look into a mirror, you won’t see a person but rather the leftovers of someone who didn’t know their limit when it comes to giving themself away in their relationship.

You have been running around, always trying to find a way to make someone else happy while forgetting about your own health, your own wants and needs, your own happiness. I know that it makes you happy to see your partner satisfied with what you’re doing for him but that doesn’t mean that he actually appreciates you and that he doesn’t take you for granted.

Look at your relationship for a moment and maybe you will realize that he hasn’t done anything for you. Or at least nothing that required even half as much effort, time, love or devotion as the things you do in your relationship.

Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t give yourself away this much because you will end up wondering where all those parts of you are that you had to give up and give to him because you wanted to give him everything you are. Don’t. Have your own limits and know when to stop.

The problem with women is that we love ‘too much’. I don’t actually know if it’s a problem but it might become one if we end up forgetting to love ourself more than our partner. We fight for their love, always considering that we can’t love them enough and that ends up spoiling them to the point where they are dependent on us and they just assume that we are completely devoted to making them happy. We let them think that we are happy by only giving and never expecting anything in return. But that’s a mistake.

You love. You heal. You make dinner. You run to get him medicine and you help him get better. You do all of these things, yet he refuses to make you tea when you can’t get out of your bed because of a high fever. You do all of these things, yet he thinks that one simple thank you is enough to make you happy, never realizing that you need him just as much as he needs you.

You are always there for him. Whenever he calls you and says that he needs something, you’re there for him and the worst part about it is that you never expect anything in return. Whenever he got mad, you ran to him, trying to make sure that you explained your actions.

Stop it. Take care of yourself. I am not telling you to let your relationship go and I am not telling you to move on from this man, to leave, I am just telling you to cut yourself some slack and give yourself permission to breathe once in a while. I’m telling you to take care of yourself and make yourself a priority above anything else, because you can’t take care of someone else if you’re not taking care of yourself.

I know that it might be a shock for your relationship because he’s used to taking and taking, without the urge to give anything back but if he doesn’t understand why you’re doing all of this then I don’t know why you’re even trying to make this relationship work. It sounds more like a one-sided relationship than a loving and caring one.

Put yourself first. It doesn’t matter if he understands it or not. Put yourself first because you haven’t been a priority to yourself for too long and it’s time to change that. It’s time to make sure that you get everything you need in order to be happy.

Right now you’re exhausted and tired, you’re fading away because he isn’t able to see how much of yourself you’re putting into making this relationship work. That’s why it’s the right time to appreciate yourself and show yourself some tender kindness. You deserve it. More than anyone.

Yours sincerely,

Someone who realized this too late