RELATIONSHIP

If I’m The Only One Working On The Relationship, It’s Not Worth It

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Whenever I would talk to my friends about how exhausting our relationship was, they would always tell me to wait just a little while longer. To wait and to put some work into it because one day, they said, he’s going to realise how much time and effort you’re putting into the relationship. Then, they said, he’ll come along and start doing the same thing. Are you?

From when I was little, I was always taught that if you work hard enough, success will come—success in relationships, work, etc. For that same reason, I believe that it should be both of us working, not just me. If I’m the only one working, then this relationship isn’t worth it.

I know that relationships are hard work because of the fact that two people have to understand their differences and always try to find compromises and solutions. Those two people, who want the relationship to work, will do anything to show their appreciation to their partner exactly because they want to show them how grateful they are.

So why? Tell me, why is it that hard to work together with me?

I told you that I would like us to communicate better and more frequently. I told you how much it means to me when we spend time together. I told you that I would like to hear advice from you from time to time and I’d also would like you to make us a priority.

It sounds like much, I know. But it’s not. Baby steps would be great, just changing one of these things like trying to talk with me more, asking me how my day went or asking me if I was doing fine. Then, I would be able to see that you actually want and need me, so you started changing yourself.

I’m not asking you to change your personality because I love you just the way you are. I love you for all those lame jokes you kept on telling me until I fell for you. I love the way everything is OK whenever you hug me. I love your enthusiasm and your motivation to make something out of this life. What I’m asking of you are minor things. Little things that could save our relationship. Please change for the sake of it.

My heart is breaking because of what I see. I see a man whom I adore. A man whose eyes remind me of the clear sky in the summer and the waves that hit the shore so perfectly and elegantly. I see the man with whom I would like to spend the rest of my days. But the fact that you aren’t even willing to listen to me breaks my heart.

Am I really that unimportant to you? You don’t even want to try to make me feel special? Important? Appreciated? Valued? In my honest opinion, that is exactly how each partner should be feeling in order for him or her to know that both sides want the relationship and the love to last.

Sometimes, love just isn’t enough. I will keep on loving you whatever you do. Time will show me that I can live without you if needed, but it doesn’t mean that I will stop loving you. But if I’ll be running to help you in whatever it is you need help with, if I change myself every time you say that something doesn’t suit you, then do something for me, too.

I am not asking of you impossible things. I am asking you to show me that you love me because I do not feel loved.

I am worth way more than waiting for a guy to make up his mind whether he wants to stay with me or not. I don’t need you to make me miserable and make me unhappy. I don’t need you to make everything so hard for me and I don’t need you to ignore my needs. I need you to show me that you are going to work just as hard as I am on this relationship.

It might hurt me. It will definitely hurt me to know that you would rather leave than stay and work on this with me, but if that’s what you want, so be it.

Just don’t waste my time pretending like you care.